Monday, August 31, 2020

Tarot of Sexual Magic: The Magician

Working with my more sensual deck, Tarot of Sexual Magic, I've found myself almost starting from scratch to make the connections between traditional meanings and sensual. To grow my practice with this deck, I've determined to start with the basics and do daily pulls to acquaint myself with each card. I've also been doing research online about erotic connections to tarot. So far, information has been quite sparse, and I have decided to share my insights here as I work with the cards in no particular order. 

The Magician

Courtship — Magic Intention

Desire is the drive behind a new story; willingness and passion guarantee success. 
The magician is a card of manifesting your desires through skill and practice. He is a master of the elements, and should he dream it, he will realize it seemingly with little effort — as if by magic.

However, the beautiful thing about the magician (my favorite card btw), is that none of it is magic. He has studied. He has put in the time, and he has made himself a master. The pentagon in the center of the table fits perfectly within a circle showing that his will and drive alone is what has manifested meaning in his life.

Eros & the Magician

Some keywords I found associated with eros & the magician are:
  • reading or writing about sex
  • written communication with a lover, phone sex
  • sexting
  • bisexuality
  • publishing a book on sexuality or pornography
The Magician's connection to the erotic is intellectual and masterful. His mercurial aspect allows him to quickly switch directions (no pun intended) and master anything he puts his mind to. The emphasis on communication shows the ties and importance of intellect to sex. Sensuality is a mental exercise as much as a physical one, and without mental stimulation the physical may become dull.

Sexual Intention & the Magician

The Magician understands the work that goes behind the magic. He understands the deep study required to create a result that appears effortless to the outside observer. It is not the nature of the magician to wait for the universe to deliver to him his lot, he takes the time and decides.

The lesson from this is to determine what you want, and do the work to manifest it. Don't distract yourself with piddly happenings here and there that keep you from your desires. For me, I have been relying too heavily on the universe to manifest the relationship I desire into my world. I've allowed myself to entertain distractions. The circle around the pentagon also functions as a boundary. The pentagon itself is the magician's area of intended manifestation. It's important to maintain focus on realizing your personal desires while drawing a line between yourself and things which may thwart your hard work.

For myself, I want to realize a relationship into my life which stimulates me physically, mentally, and emotionally. The lesson I have taken from the magician is to study, learn, and become intimately familiar with myself and my options. There is a place for conscious decision making in love and sex, and it can only improve your results!

Courtship is an act of studying your potential partner and of learning them intimately to understand the ways you can (or cannot) connect. It's an act of alignment and ensuring you are both of similar focus to achieve the same results. If a partner is not aligned with your intentions, it's necessary to make the hard but logic driven decision to focus your energies elsewhere.

Recently, I realized I have not been acting as a magician should act. And so, I put aside some time for self study of my own desires to create a list to keep in mind each time I meet a potential partner. It gives me focus on how and what to study about them to determine if we are aligned. It's easy to get distracted by physical chemistry, but there is more to courtship and strong, lasting connections!

Sources

For more information on the Magician, I recommend these sources where I gathered information for this post:


Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Finding New Directions


At the end of last year, I made some difficult decisions which I worried I would come to regret. I stepped away from running a tarot community which I loved, and as more and more small things built into mountains around me, I found myself withdrawing from tarot in general. I had allowed my practice to become so ingrained in the community that I lost sight of what my practice was without it.

In the space I created, other priorities filled in though. I began focusing on caring for my physical body, and with it I began finding love for myself again. As I re-established some base levels of physical fitness, I found myself adding other elements such as my yoga practice back into the mix. I've always been a proponent of moving meditation. As easily distracted as I am, it's about the only way I can fully ground myself from time to time! 

However, as I filled in space in my life with  movement and physical self-care, I began to find more space (and desire) for tarot to return into my life. I just didn't want it to become the megalithic mountain of fostering other practices that it had previously become. I want to be selfish. I want my practice to be what brings me joy, and with that joy I can heal others. But even now, as I think about the how, I'm overwhelmed with all the things I feel I'm required to do as a tarot reader. 

How can I begin to let go of expectations and find the core of my personal practice? For one, I need to allow myself to ebb and flow. Structure is important, but I'm past a point of groundwork and need to wander off into the nooks and crannies of tarot reading if I want to elevate my practice. None of the more traditional paths of learning has really called to me, such as mingling astrology alongside my interpretations. 

What has been calling to me for a very long time is a deck I bought on sale that I have kept stashed away in my nightstand—Tarot of Sexual Magic. I have always loved the way it reads, and its interpretations based in sensuality and intimacy intrigue me. While many tarot readers grow tired of romance readings, I revel in them! Rather than branching out to expand my reading topics, I want to go deeper into reading on inner and interpersonal relationships. However, spaces that accept explicit imagery and topics can be somewhat limited. So be forewarned, not all topics posted here will be safe for work.

In addition, I've created a sex positive community space on reddit for anyone else who wants to join me on this journey to explore eroticism in tarot—r/erotictarot. I have no intention of promising to be a guide. I can only promise a community where folks walking a similar path to mine can converge and converse.

I've also added the Decameron Tarot to my arsenal of erotic tarot decks to explore and learn. I'm excited to work with this deck as it combines my love of literature with the sensual. However, remember the ebb and flow I mentioned? I love literature, and I love writing, so expect to see not just tarot posts here, but writing samples and book reviews, and... and... and... I'm just going to go with the flow. No agenda. Just me and what I love, because exploring self-love and interests is the first and truest step in intimacy. Which is what lead to me creating yet another forum on a whim—r/tarotfiction.

Both of these communities will evolve slowly over time as I flow between my studies and my interests. I hope to see some of you cross paths with me on my journey!

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Samhain Blog Hop: Honoring Our Beloved Dead

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It's that time of year again, and for once in Louisiana, the weather suits the holiday. It's cold, it's dreary, and it has forced me indoors to contemplate on those who have come before. For our hop, we were asked to honor our ancestors or someone who has passed beyond who has influenced us in some way. However, I've been lucky in at least one way in life and that's that I have not lost too many close family members in some time.

I feel remarkably lucky that when thinking on who I want to honor in my post today, I thought of my loving and dearly departed Cottonball who passed last year. He spent 17 years with my family, and though not all of them were the best, I tried to make his last years a continuous spa day for him.

Perhaps it's odd that of all the people in the universe who have passed, I have chosen my loving cat. However, I think all of us who are pet owners have a story of a difficult time in our lives when the "person" who was there for us through it all was our beloved animal. Cottonball was utterly devoted to me through my two-year long series of health issues, treatments, and recovery. He slept on my chest for every forced nap I took. He tapped me on my shoulder as I worked from home -- almost a sweet reminder that hey, hey you... You're not alone. I'm here.

It devastated me when he got sick. It hit him so quickly. After everything, I never expected cancer to take my sweet kitty so suddenly. The loss hit me on so many levels. I felt as though cancer was taking everything away from me. On his last day, I found him collapsed and unable to get back up. I took him to the vet, swaddled in a warm towel, and held him until he went to sleep forever. He had cuddled me through everything. I was most certainly not going to let him go without his family next to him.

And so of course, I also could not move into my new home without bringing him with me. I felt as though it would be a betrayal to him to separate his final resting place from his family. I opted to have him cremated, and he resides on my hearth alongside a brass cat statue to honor his devotion to his family.

For today's thinning veil, I did a reading to communicate with my sweet kitty. Despite my penchant for spooky decks this time of year, I chose to use the deck I associate most with him — The Mystical Cats Tarot by Lunaea Weatherstone. After he passed, I felt an immense amount of guilt. I felt like I hadn't done enough, but a reading with this deck helped me feel at peace after his passing.

What I can learn from his life:
Strength (reversed) — I don't have to suffer in silence. I don't have to carry burdens alone. I don't have to let the bird sit on me if I don't want it to. I can eat it if I really truly want. Cottonball rarely complained in life. Something he probably got from his family. He just carried his disappointments without a single meow, even when his bowl wasn't full.

Advice he has for me:
Eight of Fire (reversed) — It's okay to slow down. Life doesn't have to be a mad rush. He was never one to run willy nilly all over the house. He was a dignified floof. Walk slow. Walk with dignity.

Path he advises for my life: 
Five of Sea (reversed) — Move on from the things that get me all soaked and bothered. I don't have to be a pissy kitty about it. I'll dry off eventually if I just keep moving and stay away from what might drown me. Letting go of the past and releasing intense nostalgia for a time before has been a struggle for me. I think he's reminding me that things do get better, even if he's not there to cuddle me.

Do you have a beloved pet you'd like a message from? I would gladly serve as the conveyor of that message! You can book a reading in my shop. 💓

This post is part of a series. Use the navigation to browse ahead or behind in the series, or visit the master list to go directly to a blogger. If you are a tarot reader with a blog and wish to join future hops, join our TarotBlogHop Facebook group.

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Monday, September 23, 2019

Mabon Blog Hop: My Harvest

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Once again, it's time to blog hop! We hop for each of the eight holidays on the wheel of the year, and as we turn toward the harvest, we hop in celebration of Mabon, or as the druids prefer, Alban Elfed. Alban Elfed is the last harvest of the year, and a time of reaping what we've sown.

In true Celtic fashion, our topic for this hop is a reading which covers the three realms: Land, Sea, and Sky. The realm of land is that of body. The realm of sea is our minds. The realm of sky is our souls. For each realm, we were asked to draw three cards to discuss our current state, an area of focus, and the outcome if we take action on that focus. I felt called to use my Wildwood Tarot for this reading project.

Body

My body has been through a lot over the last few years, and it's only recently I've been finding some peace with it. I have grown in acceptance, but I also have grown in reclaiming it for myself. I have begun feeling so much more in tune with my body and less at odds with it!

Current State - 5 of Bows

I've faced a lot of conflict and struggled to find motivation to take back control over my own body. There's been a lot of fighting myself, other people, life in general... but I've finally reached a point where I at least feel like I'm in charge of the direction I grow in, and I'm proud of the work I've done to get to where I am.

However, I still am not where I once was and I worry I never will be. There are a lot of fights yet to be won, and all I can do is take them on one at a time. Even now as I recover from my most recent surgery, I'm going a bit stir crazy as I want to get back into the swing of things.

Focus - The Journey

This card replaces Death in traditional decks, but I feel like the meaning holds true. Rebuilding the strength in my body is a process of constantly breaking down and rebuilding. Starting from the bottom and working my way up. Each time I work on something new, I'm starting the journey fresh. The tedium of starting over and over and over has worn on me in the past because I was focused on the end goal and not on the journey. I always felt so far away instead of living in the now and appreciating the milestone I was currently achieving.

Outcome - 3 of Stones Reversed

There's going to be a lot of delays reaching my end point and it will always be a process -- a never ending journey. In fact, the journey to manifesting the the ideals I have in mind may never be achieved. I need to be okay with that. I need to be okay with being proud of what I do achieve and ground my ideals in reality.

Mind

I've felt my mind become more open lately, but this can be a horrible thing for me as I'm prone to ADD. I get distracted easily and become hyper-focused on tasks that might not be the most important thing for me to focus on. 

Current State - Knight of Stones Reversed

My current state confirms what I already know about myself. I've lost a lot of motivation, and I chase after tasks which aren't the most important thing. Sometimes I give up way too easily. I've allowed myself to have my spirit broken in areas of my life such as career, and that loss of motivation shows up in my day-to-day.

I'm not proud of myself for letting this be the state of affairs, and I want this to change. I've had a lot of false starts in finding the part of me that gives a shit.

Focus - 8 of Vessels

I need to focus on letting go. I need to stop letting things impact me emotionally. Yes, it infuriates me when I have colleagues who spend more time marketing themselves than actually doing quality work. It infuriates me the way that it seems to go unnoticed. It infuriates me even more that sometimes it seems that this dynamic is expected. I, the woman, should be the diligent worker. The expectations on me are much higher and the standard I'm held to unattainable. It's not fair.

However, I've dealt with all these things a million times over. I need to have faith and just let go.

Outcome - 7 of Arrows Reversed

Ultimately, if I just focus on myself and controlling my emotions, I'll be able to let go of insecurities and worry much less!

Soul

There are many parts of my life that I jokingly refer to as soul crushing. Hopefully this will give me some insights on changing my perspective!

Current State - Page of Vessels Reversed

I'm very far removed from a state of being present. I'm not hearing the messages I need to hear, and I'm not attending to my life in a manner that is heart felt. I'm just not here. This is something I truly need to fix. I pour my heart into other people's needs and happiness and well being and have none left for my own. It's left me feeling a bit disassociated quite a bit.

I need to flip that vessel around and feel again. <3

Focus - The Sun of Life

I need to become aware of something beyond this earth. This is something I've worked on through tarot and through druidry; however, I haven't paid as much attention to my bardic studies as I need to. I have finally returned my attention to my tarot practice, but perhaps I need to resume my bardic studies as well. 

Outcome - 4 of Arrows

Peace and rest await me if I can let myself find stillness! Stressful things are happening around me, but I don't have to let those things touch me. This is a realization that I look forward to reaching and actually being able to practice.

Would you like a similar reading done for you? You can request your own three realms reading by ordering a custom tarot reading in my Etsy shop. (You'll need to select a 'medium' reading at checkout.) All readings over $10 are 30% off through the end of September!

This post is part of a series. Use the navigation to browse ahead or behind in the series, or visit the master list to go directly to a blogger. If you are a tarot reader with a blog and wish to join future hops, join our TarotBlogHop Facebook group.

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Sunday, September 15, 2019

Using a Mandala Spread for Character Development in my Tarot Story "Sacrifices"

Procrastination is as much a part of the writing process as writing is I believe. This was no less true when I began working on the challenge of writing my tarot story "Sacrifices." When I began working on the story, I did my Celtic Cross for planning a good month before I actually started writing the story. I just couldn't quite figure out the person these events were happening to. I knew I wanted my character to be someone a little bit strange, and the story to be somewhat fantastical, but beyond that I had no clue.

To solve my little hiccup, I decided to follow up my Celtic Cross planning session with some character development using a Mandala tarot spread. A mandala tarot spread is typically used for personality analysis and helping a querent understand themselves. So, this should be the perfect spread for helping my understand the character Ursuline I was trying to develop! Once again, why reinvent the wheel or do some fancy process for developing a story with special spreads when the spreads already exist?

Developing Ursuline's Character with a Mandala Tarot Spread

We're slowly moving toward fall and all that's creepy and a little spooky, so I got a head start by selecting my Mildred Payne's Secret Pocket Oracle to work with for this exercise. I don't use it nearly enough and I'm overly excited about the approaching fall season, so creepy character development with a creepy deck was what I went with!

I was also much looser with interpretation using the oracle deck. I feel oracle decks do open that freedom up more so than tarot, particularly the Mildred Payne. The deck is full of very specific pieces of imagery, almost like a Lenormand deck. Because of this, I found that the imagery came into play more so than the meanings.

1 Self

The Ear (9) reversed appeared to define Ursuline's core self. She constantly describes hearing the shades howl, and at one point they are referred to as banshees. I wanted there to be a strong sense of hearing in the story. I'm not sure I quite succeeded in driving that sensation home, but it was the intent. Ursuline is also hyper vigilant of her situation, perhaps overly so. She probably has a lot of other options for her situation, but she's overly sensitive and aware of what the shades want.

2 Ambitions

Ursuline very much desired to be likable. The Flower (23) is a card of blossoming, but at a cost. Ursuline would love to reach her full potential, and she believes that she can only do this with the help of others.

3 Ideals, goals, and path to spirit

Between the Arrow (64) and the Boot later in the spread, I knew there would need to be some travel in store for Ursuline. She believes that carrying her message of teamwork will help achieve her goals. When she meets the witch, she throws caution to the wind because she is too hopeful that this witch is like her.

4 Accomplishments and life path

The Star (67) took on a bit of a very literal accomplishment/life path for Ursuline as she gets turned into little twinkly bits in the dark! Who says every card has to have some deep meaning? Sometimes face value is all you need.

5 Dependencies, addictions, erroneous values

Ursuline encounters her Spider (51) in the witch and makes the unfortunate mistake of believing that the strong female force she encountered was benign.

6 Strengths, positive personality traits

It might take Ursuline a long time to feel the effects of a situation that is Poison (45), but eventually it will take her down. Endurance is a positive trait, but it doesn't hold in there forever. Unfortunately, I don't feel I had room in the story to reveal this about her as much. Keep in mind for a creative project, you don't always have to use everything you plan!

7 Faults and weaknesses

Ursuline was smart to observe before getting involved with the witch, but she allowed herself to become too caught up with her curiosity. She was also way too giving. The Octopus (44) appeared reversed, and so we have a character who takes on more than they can handle and gets in deeper than they can actually handle.

8 Self-awareness and self-image

The reversed Boot (20) was not only another indicator of travel gone awry, but also a sign of feeling stuck. Ursuline's impetus was to try to resolve feelings of being stuck in a situation that wasn't great. The trip itself was not necessarily a bad idea, but her entire engagement with the witch was throwing caution to the wind a bit.

9 Desires and higher purpose

Ursuline doesn't just want to make her life better, she wants to make it better by bringing together other people. She wants to feel joy, but the reversed Boy (5) indicates yet again that though she might bring that joy into another's life in a way that gives way too much of herself.

Pulling It All Together

Ultimately, this reading didn't slide as seamlessly into the story as my Celtic Cross spread did. However, it did stimulate a lot of creative thought and small details which worked into the story and helped develop it into what it ultimately became. Tarot stimulates creativity and intuition, and so I don't feel like doing this extra thought process with this spread turned out to be a wasted enterprise at all.

If you would like to receive a Mandala reading for yourself, they are available for purchase in my Etsy shop.