Sunday, September 24, 2017

Vision Seeker: Visioning (Day 6)

There are many areas of my life that are significant and require my attention daily. As my family has grown and my son has gotten older, the need for a larger home has arisen. My career changed and went in a new direction, several months ago. I've become more focused on my health and eating in a way that will allow me to lose weight. Other areas that I have focused on for years, have shifted out of focus, but need to come back in if I'm to move forward and complete the journey I started.

The list of areas that require attention and growth in the future go on and on, but I selected 3 of the most important in order to pull a card to be its guiding star.

In the forefront of life right now is our hunt for a new home. There's been many difficult decisions and considerations involved, and I am trying to make choices considering three perspectives with often limited information, help, or direction. It has been utterly overwhelming and frustrating. I've found myself emotionally attaching myself to homes when I envision the life we could have there—particularly the relief I'd feel at having space for everyone and their belongings. That sense of relief I could be experiencing pushes me to want to move more quickly than I should. However, the card I drew to be my guide in this journey is the Knight of Pentacles. Slow and steady, this knight considers all options carefully and does not rush into situations. He does, however, move steadily forward making progress each day. When we first started looking, it was with the intention of getting a feeling for neighborhoods and defining what we want. I believe we have rushed too far beyond that and need to take a step back to determine what the various options could offer us.

All of the work that has been going into finding a new home has also disrupted two other areas I need to concentrate on. I have been working to increase my physical activity and care for my body. However, it's as if as soon as I get myself established in a routine, it gets disrupted or my level of energy drops and I'm not able to keep up. I can't seem to find space for exercise the way I used to. I've overcrowded my life with goals and hobbies. I believe the energy of the knight will help me cut back on the amount of time and effort I put into house-hunting by taking small steps rather than overwhelming myself. For the guide I pulled for my physical self-care, I got the Wheel of Fortune again. I can't keep letting other aspects of my life take me on a ride. I need to establish some areas that are the spoke of the wheel—a constant in my life. Exercise and caring for my health needs to be a place of centering. Especially since for me, it's also meditative and method of finding center.

The final area of my life that I need to place focus on is completing my education. This surfaced in an earlier challenge, and yet I have made no strides toward accomplishing the final step of my graduate journey. For a guide card, I pulled the Two of Swords. As I've overburdened myself with other tasks and thought-consuming activities, I haven't taken the final step to graduation—my final comps paper. There's not much to complete, so why do I allow myself to be so blocked? I know how much work is involved in truly making a paper publishable, so I allow myself to be overwhelmed. I keep telling myself I will take the time to start making strides toward completing it, but I keep putting other work in front. Part of the issue is the need for a quiet space to work uninterrupted which I have found becoming increasingly limited. I need to make choices about what is important to me, and take a firm stand when I need to be left to work. I fight for my quiet when I have card readings to complete. I should fight with the same ferocity to complete something that has taken almost a decade of my life to work toward.

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