Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Finding New Directions

At the end of last year, I made some difficult decisions which I worried I would come to regret. I stepped away from running a tarot community which I loved, and as more and more small things built into mountains around me, I found myself withdrawing from tarot in general. I had allowed my practice to become so ingrained in the community that I lost sight of what my practice was without it.

In the space I created, other priorities filled in though. I began focusing on caring for my physical body, and with it I began finding love for myself again. As I re-established some base levels of physical fitness, I found myself adding other elements such as my yoga practice back into the mix. I've always been a proponent of moving meditation. As easily distracted as I am, it's about the only way I can fully ground myself from time to time! 

However, as I filled in space in my life with  movement and physical self-care, I began to find more space (and desire) for tarot to return into my life. I just didn't want it to become the megalithic mountain of fostering other practices that it had previously become. I want to be selfish. I want my practice to be what brings me joy, and with that joy I can heal others. But even now, as I think about the how, I'm overwhelmed with all the things I feel I'm required to do as a tarot reader. 

How can I begin to let go of expectations and find the core of my personal practice? For one, I need to allow myself to ebb and flow. Structure is important, but I'm past a point of groundwork and need to wander off into the nooks and crannies of tarot reading if I want to elevate my practice. None of the more traditional paths of learning has really called to me, such as mingling astrology alongside my interpretations. 

What has been calling to me for a very long time is a deck I bought on sale that I have kept stashed away in my nightstand—Tarot of Sexual Magic. I have always loved the way it reads, and its interpretations based in sensuality and intimacy intrigue me. While many tarot readers grow tired of romance readings, I revel in them! Rather than branching out to expand my reading topics, I want to go deeper into reading on inner and interpersonal relationships. However, spaces that accept explicit imagery and topics can be somewhat limited. So be forewarned, not all topics posted here will be safe for work.

In addition, I've created a sex positive community space on reddit for anyone else who wants to join me on this journey to explore eroticism in tarot—r/erotictarot. I have no intention of promising to be a guide. I can only promise a community where folks walking a similar path to mine can converge and converse.

I've also added the Decameron Tarot to my arsenal of erotic tarot decks to explore and learn. I'm excited to work with this deck as it combines my love of literature with the sensual. However, remember the ebb and flow I mentioned? I love literature, and I love writing, so expect to see not just tarot posts here, but writing samples and book reviews, and... and... and... I'm just going to go with the flow. No agenda. Just me and what I love, because exploring self-love and interests is the first and truest step in intimacy. Which is what lead to me creating yet another forum on a whim—r/tarotfiction.

Both of these communities will evolve slowly over time as I flow between my studies and my interests. I hope to see some of you cross paths with me on my journey!


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