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| The absolute joy that this reading did not leave me with. |
The activity starts with making a list of the things that bring me joy, things that used to bring me joy, things I'd like to try, and ways I help others. My list was quickly filled with things that used to bring me joy before I even realized that maybe I should throw some things on there that currently bring me joy. And, oh yeah, what ways do I bring joy to others? I put down a tentative answer followed by a question mark.
Now it's time for the fun part... the reading.
Energy that fuels my passions: 9 of Pentacles (reversed) - I seek happiness in material possessions.
Blocks or limitations: The Fool - I dive into new things without much planning or thought.
Helper: Judgement (reversed) - I am my own worst critic, and so I frequently stop myself from interacting with the world at large out of fear.
What I give to the world: 8 of Cups (reversed) - I run dafuq away.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MY GIFTS AND PASSIONS! Thanks for telling me how you really feel, Shadowscapes.
But I get it. First of all, I was in a bit of a mood, my thoughts clouded with concerns and melancholy when I went to shuffle, and all I got was a reflection of my own mood. Obviously this isn't a giant mood boost... but now rather than a list of passions/gifts, I have a nice list of things to work on. I filled my list with things that used to bring me joy well before I thought of anything that currently brings me joy. That's a fairly big tell to myself. Most of those things were physical, earthly aspects of myself which allowed me to engage more fully in the world. I didn't feel judged, I felt welcome. Now that I feel I no longer meet the standards of acceptable company, I hide away. I attempt to fill the voids with shopping--often impulsively.
I think the cards stole an opportunity to say: You need to fix yo'self.
Oh, I know, and I'm trying. One step at a time.
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