Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Samhain Blog Hop: Birth, Death, and Rebirth

Down here in the sweaty, sticky (often yucky), swampy south the air is finally starting to give way to cooler breezes. The days are becoming shorter and the nights longer as Samhain approaches. Today it's finally here, marking our spiral into darkness. The veil thins, and readings come easier. It's a night to contemplate the year behind us and where it leads us.

An ending is really nothing more than a beginning, so it's fitting that this sabbat marks my first post participating in the Tarot Blog Hop. The hop's theme is birth, death, and rebirth in line with the season, and of course it involves a tarot reading.
Hanged Man | The Moon | The Sun
Those of you who followed me through the daily draw challenge earlier in the year recognize my trusty Llewellyn deck--one I use primarily for myself. It never fails to speak a deeply spiritual message to me. Today, I use it to reflect on where I've been, where I'm going, and what has changed throughout this cycle.

This time last year, I was looking for any new spiritual path and any opportunity to move forward from the slump I was in. Work was hellish. Much as Pryderi and Manawydan were chased from town to town because of the level of their craftsmanship, I was constantly being pushed off projects or being prevented from completing assignments by what I referred to as a terrorist sub-cell in the department. Their work was less than perfect, and their conceptual reasoning left much to be desired. Yet somehow they always managed to make the perfect road block for me and others. Every day felt like a hostage situation.

I was the Hanged Man, but I wasn't okay with repeating the cycle of events over and over. Attempts I made to change the world around me, or even just forge a different path, evaporated each day leaving behind no evidence that I had done anything at all. The tyranny of realizing there was no way out made me focus more on finding a way in. So I pursued a new path, one through my own inner darkness to eventually find a new way out.

I had been reading tarot off and on up to this point, but I hadn't worked toward any sort of mastery of it. (Hah, I hadn't realized yet there's no such thing. You're always learning with tarot.) A few months before last Samhain, I had begun working on deeper understandings of card meanings and spreads. I had toyed with the idea of pursuing a pagan path, but it was a meandering path forward--making progress, but with no real commitment. By Samhain, I was committed. I needed to heal my spirit, and I needed a direction in life. I knew in my soul that if I just found a spiritual path the rest would fall into place. And so I began my journey through the darkness of the moon, facing and sometimes even embracing my inner shadows.

Suddenly a light seemed to come on for me. My readings improved. The cards were no longer pieces of cardboard with some key words attached to them. They took on new life, meanings flowing and making sense, connecting more readily with the other cards. I didn't need to "remember" what they meant, I just knew. I made my first spell bag and watched it work its charms each day. No one would stomp out my light! The Sun began shining on all aspects of my life, and eventually a new opportunity to move away from my waking nightmare presented itself.

So here I am, a full Samhain later, and happier than I was. There are still some stagnant aspects of my life that I am working through, but there's hope. I have found community, spirituality, and a lifetime journey of study and contemplation. I have become the master of myself and my life once more.


  1. I love reading insights and journey logs from folks who are seeking new or different spiritual paths! Also, love that you're taking tarot to the next level and that's seemed to make all the difference. This sounds like an intriguing journey I hope to read more about in the future to come! <3

  2. I loved that connection between the Welsh craftsman and your own struggles. Lovely journey forward.

  3. It's beautiful how you've been able to see your life experiences reflected in the cards. You really have connected (re-connected?) with your intuition and the tarot. Your post gives me hope on my spiritual path!

  4. You seem to be making lots of connections, renewing old ones and creating new ones. Lovely to read about your journey - thank you for sharing!

  5. It sounds like you've made great strides this year. I love hearing that your readings are more enlivened.